TIME FOR SOME STORIES # 5

Here's the latest!




http://sheepshearing.googlepages.com/yardbrain5.pdf

http://sheepshearing.googlepages.com/yardbrain5.pdf
http://sheepshearing.googlepages.com/yardbrain5.pdf
http://sheepshearing.googlepages.com/yardbrain5.pdf
http://sheepshearing.googlepages.com/yardbrain5.pdf

yardbrain # 4

new yardbrain zine

http://sheepshearing.googlepages.com/yardbrain4.pdf

enjoy

i'm going to crank a few more of these out, i think i might be able to pitch them, who knows.

i'll get back to STORIES eventually, promise

yardbrain 3

as promised, here's the first of the new yardbrain (set to music, no less)

http://www.myspace.com/yardbrain



the accompanying zine will follow shortly.

okay, so it's 1928 and i'm living in the heart of africa. i've been searching for this enormous giant. it killed my parents when i was just a little kid, so i'm going to find it and fucking murder it.

anyway so finally i found the giant's footprints, and they led into the deepest part of the darkest forest. so i went into the woods, searching for the murderer, and then one night out of the shadows and out of the gloom came the giant!! and jesus christ it was the giant that killed my parents!! and he said to me, "look carefully, because the demon is in you". so i looked carefully, and i was staring into a pool.



i'm not sure where this project is going, but it's definitely keeping me up at night.

more to come very shortly.

getting even further away from stories, i've decided to publish yardbrain three as a collection of completely retarded songs and am in studio like every night this week

after this maybe i'll get back to stories

by the way check out http://www.myspace.com/hrswhip

this is one of my several fake 'bands' that's basically just me being an idiot

retard 5-0 part II is coming out soon as well

yardbrain # 2

sorry about the lack of stories, i'm working on these retarded zines right now. they're fun because they're new.



DOWNLOAD!

http://two.xthost.info/yardbrain/yardbrain2.pdf

READ!

yardbrain #1

not really story related, but it's finally nice and warm outside and i was getting restless at work and felt like writing so i pumped out a bunch of garbage this morning (with the exception of the pavlov story) and made a fake zine out of it

you can download it here!

http://two.xthost.info/yardbrain/yardbrain1.pdf



keep in mind it's really retarded

TADPOLE GAME

ALRIGHT THIS IS REALLY SHORT, IT'S A RETARDED GAME WE USE TO PLAY WHEN I WAS A KID:

OUR NEIGHBOR DAVE HAD A NICE BIG HOUSE WITH A GIANT GOLDFISH POND IN THE BACKYARD. THERE WERE THESE GIANT FLAT ROCKS FLAGGING THE PERIMETER OF THE POND AND THE POND ITSELF WAS FULL OF TADPOLES IN THE SPRING.

ANYWAY THE GAME STARTED WITH EVERYONE KNEELING DOWN ON A ROCK OF THEIR CHOOSING AND THEN THE FIRST PERSON WOULD REACH INTO THE WATER AND GRAB A TADPOLE. IN DOING SO HE WOULD UPSET ALL THE OTHER TADPOLES AND THEY'D ALL SWIM DOWN A FEW INCHES TO A LOWER PART OF THE POND AND SETTLE DOWN AMONG THE ALGAE AGAIN. THEN THE NEXT PERSON WOULD HAVE TO LEAN IN FURTHER AND GRAB A TADPOLE, AND ONCE AGAIN THEN THE TADPOLES WOULD SWIM DOWN TO AN EVEN LOWER ECHELON OF THE POND.

SO EVERYONE WOULD KEEP DOING THIS UNTIL SOME KID REACHED IN TOO FAR AND THE ROCK HE WAS ON WOULD TIP OVER AND THE KID AND HIS ROCK WOULD GO ALMOST VERTICAL AND SLIDE DOWN THE SIDE OF THE POND INTO THE WATER

THEN DAVE WOULD COME RUNNING OUT OF HIS HOUSE IN HIS HOUSECOAT AND TELL US ALL TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HIS YARD AND HOW HE WAS SICK OF DRAGGING OUT THE BIG ROCKS AND HOW WE WERE RIPPING UP THE LINING OF HIS GODDAMNED POND